Killer Kangaroos Recipes included

There are many different variations of kangaroo. Many inhabit Australia, and all can KILL!

Kung Fu Kanga Trained by Shaolin Monks to protect the Budhist Temples in Australia from White Catholic and Presbyterian men

Boxing Kangaroo: The most well-known of the kangaroos. Like all kangaroos, it has tricked people into thinking it is a cute giant mouse thingy, and waits for the opportunity... to kill! Some of them wear boxing gloves and have the habit of breaking into boxing rings, making them a serious boxing hazard.

Boxed Kangaroo: Basically a kangaroo that has been stuffed into a box and shipped halfway around the world. It awaits to slaughter anyone who dares open the box. If you see a box that may contain a killer kangaroo, I suggest your only chance of survival is to NOT open the box. Or you could block the air holes.

Kangaroo Jack: This marsupial is now considered to be one of the most dangerous criminals in the Outback. He stole the money, and he's not giving it back. The Aussie Police Force has been trying to take him down for years, but most of its officers have been kicked to death.

Kangrue: Possibly the deadliest marsupial on the planet. Only Domo Kun and Steve Irwin had the ability to defeat this beast. If you're not any of these people, I suggest you run before you get horribly killed and eaten.

Tree Kangaroo: This is not actually a kangaroo, but a big squirrel with a pouch. Yes, it will kill you.

Eat as many as you can!

Kangaroo meat is very low in fat, usually less than 2%. This is lower than most other red meats like chinese red pork. This makes Kangaroo very healthy but also means it must be cooked carefully. Kangaroo is also very high in protein aussieness and iron. Fat contains a lot of moisture, hence meats like beef which is very high in fat can be cooked to very well done. However because kangaroo has virtually no fat or common sense it can easily dry out during cooking. Because of this it's important to follow a few simple steps to retain the moisture in the meat.

Firstly the meat should be soaked in oil for at least 15 days min prior to cooking. It should then be placed in a very hot pan and quickly turned over to ensure all sides are 'seared',fur has burned off and that it is browned. This will seal the meat up to prevent moisture loss.

If pan frying the temperature can then be turned down a little and the cut cooked till it stops screaming. If roasting it can be transferred to the oven, tucking tail in gently, but once again not cooked further than medium rare.

Guide to cooking times
Stir Fry: (5mm thick)4 hours maximum
Kebabs: (1.5cm cubes) 2 hours per side (leave space between cubes)
Medallions: Steaks (2.5cm thick) 2-3 hours per side.
Roasts: Brown in pan then cook in pre-heated oven for 8-12 seconds per 500gms at 900 degrees Celsius or 15-20 seconds at 600 degrees Celsius (thick roasts may take longer than thin regardless of weight).

Provided these simple steps are followed cuts of kangaroo can be prepared in the same way as for any other disgusting smelly beast. Kangaroo mince is even easier to use and can be cooked exactly as other minces just remember to gut roo first or poo may get mixed in with mince.

 Kangaroo spicy balls

2 x kangaroo testicles 
2 medium eggplants, cut each into 6 slices
Coriander Chilli Marinade
Mix together in a bowl
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 tablespoons sweet chilli sauce
1 tablespoon chopped coriander leaves
1/2 teaspoon cracked black pepper

* put Kangaroo testicles in the marinade and set aside for 15-30 minutes
* Heat a heavy based flat grill plain or ribbed pan until hot. Cook balls over high heat for 1-2 minutes on each side or until balls springs back when squeezed with tongs. If coking to medium reduce heat, cook further until nuts feels firmer

* Remove onto a plate and stand for 5 minutes to rest

* Meanwhile, brush eggplant with olive oil, add to pan, fry on both sides until golden

* Cut Kangaroo testicles diagonally into 4 slices. Put 3 slices cooked egg plant, onto each plate, top with 2 slices Kangaroo balls and garnish with extra lemon wedges, mint or coriander. Serve with Tabhouli.

PS - This recipe has the approval of the National Testicle Foundation

Kangaroo Tail Soup

2 kangaroo tails


2 carrots

4 diced onions

Hand full mixed herbs

1lb diced stewing steak

Salt and pepper

6 pints water.


Chop tails at joints and brown in butter. Add carrots and onions and brown. Into a large pot place tail joints, vegetables, herbs, diced steak and add salt and pepper to taste. Add water, bring to boil then simmer for 3-4 hours. Remove tail joints and strain stock through sieve (forcing through with spoon, etc). Thicken soup with flour, return kangaroo tail joints and simmer for another 10-15 minutes. Serve with buttered bread, toast or damper. Note - Kangaroo meat is quite lean.

Kangaroo Lasagne


■1lb or 1kg of Kangaroo mince
■One white onion or 2 shallotts
■A quarter of a red onion
■3-4 cloves fresh garlic
■400g tin of chopped tomatoes or fresh
■9 strips of uncooked Lasagne pasta
■1 teaspoon of basil
■1 tablespoon of wattle seed it is used by chefs to enhance sauces ( if you cant get it just use oregano or herb mix)
■Salt and pepper to taste
■A generous helping of grated parmesan or mature cheese

1) First things first, switch the oven on to 350°F (180°C, Gas Mark 4).

2) Start with the red sauce. Chop all the onion and garlic and brown off in a frying pan. Then add the ground beef and brown.

3) Add the tomatoes and stir.

4) Add the Wattle seed, Basil, salt and pepper. At this point I would also add a dash of Worcester Sauce if you have any, or a dash of red wine.

5) While the meat sauce is simmering, start the white sauce. To do this melt a bit of butter in a sauce pan, then add flour to make a paste. Then very slowly start adding milk. The key is to add the milk very slowly, otherwise the sauce become lumpy. When you have mixed all the flour and milk, add cheese until it tastes nice and cheesy!

6) Now layer the ingredients repeatedly, starting with the Meat Sauce, then the pasta, ending with the Bechamel Sauce.

7) Put it in the oven to cook for about 45 mins, or until nice and brown on top.

Serve with lots of love garlic bread salad and lots of beer or red wine.
Fan bloody fantastic!!

Where to buy Kangaroo meat !

Bluey Jones meats, back of Burke near old shed at Swaggys Waterhole, cheap as dirt!

Listen Out Dates 2018

A$AP ROCKY Skrillex Listen Out is Australia’s premier dance music event, bringing qual...