Koala Drop Bear


 
 
 
 





The Drop Bear (Koalas Droppii v. terroraustralis) is a totally (censored) Australian marsupial. Drop bears are commonly found to be unusually large, vicious, carnivorous koalas that inhabit treetops and attack their prey by dropping onto their heads from above.

 


Baby Drop Bear


Drop Bears resemble Koalas, with several noticeable differences:

Koalas do not grow up to 2m in height.
Koalas do not have sharp canine teeth (Used for bark or meat).
It is unlikely for a Koala to have a tail.
Koalas do not eat their young.
Drop Bears do not have pouches.
Drop Bears do not photograph well.



Compared with Koalas, which some authorities insist are close relatives of these creatures, Drop Bears are usually browner in colour, ranging from dark brown to darker brown. They have short, thick, curls of fur, and a single digit on each paw. The digit terminates in a long claw-like retractable nail. This makes them especially good at eye-gouging and slicing open the skin of their prey (a practice which can facilitate growth of particularly virulent strains of swamp-borne infection).



There have been rare sightings of Drop Bears on terra firma (i.e., not in trees) although there are some rare species which have not taken to the trees, and are the most dangerous. The only individuals to describe these have been American tourists, who wisely listened to their tour guide and placed vegemite, behind their ear and/or on their nose (this being the only known protection against this species). Unfortunately these descriptions have been seized by the A.D.O.R.S.P.A (Australian Department Of Rare Species Protection Agency) in order to keep tourists traveling to Australia. This species can be found in all states of outback Australia and comes out mainly at day time.



There have been recent reports of evidence that Drop Bears once lived in Indonesia. According to the reports, these spurious Bears were an even larger version of the modern Australian version. Evolutionists will tell you this is because the ancestors of Indonesian Drop Bears are related to the ancestors of the devolved Australian bear.




The primary prey of Drop Bears are backpackers, The Backpacker Murders is a name given to serial killings that occurred in New South Wales, Australia during the 1990s, recent evidence from the coroner, has shown several of these victims had parts of there body eaten, by a unknown marsupial.
 It is commonly understood that the Bears favour those with cameras, due to the entrancing reflection of the sun's rays from the glass lenses on a typical Aussie scorcher of a day.